Serenity When!?

These days, I find that more often than not, when something maddening comes my way in life, I end up having to grit my teeth, close my eyes, breathe and I try to recite the Serenity Prayer (sometimes over and over…):

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I have had it on a plaque featuring a sad-looking raccoon since I was a kid, but never really took in the message.

No matter what comes our way- job changes, job closings, people/pets we love passing away or moving on too soon, difficulty getting pregnant, a crazy (or lazy) coworker– too often, these things are out of our hands.  I constantly have to remind myself that I am not responsible for other people’s moods or lives.  The only thing I can control is myself.

Now I feel like this is the time to mention that I am NOT a patient person.  I struggle with my temper and my tone and often allow things to fall out of my mouth before I can think about how they may be received.  It is a source of both great pride and great guilt for me.  I have hurt people I love.  I have also stood up for people I barely know.  My mother has always said that I was given the gift of sticking up for people who cannot stick up for themselves.  For that, I am thankful.

It just seems like as of late, life is just stacking up the hurdles just to watch me fall on my face as I try to leap over them one by one.  (You know you’ve seen a similar video on YouTube.)  Can a girl catch a break!?  Luckily, I am blessed with the most kind, supportive, but honest group of family and friends a girl could dream of.  They know me, they get me and they allow me to be myself, warts and all.  From time to time, I need gentle and not-so-gentle reminding that spitting out exactly what I think is not always the best plan.

I’m now supposed to be a grown up (YUK).  I’m not a kid anymore (says who!?) and I need to start taming my fiery temper (so I’m told).  So without knowing I was really doing it, I started chanting the Serenity Prayer.  And it’s working!  Most times.  Really!  Eh, I’m a work in progress.  Always will be!

Born Without the Creative Gene

Here I find myself, in my mid (ok, late) thirties and seriously lacking a hobby.  I have found myself longing for a creative outlet lately and yet… nothing falls within my God-given talents (sarcasm, spreadsheets, dog-petting).  Everyone around me has the Gift- my Mom can quilt and craft like a pro; my sister-in-law can make clever personal gifts with great flair and she paints beautifully; my brother creates sculptures out of spark plugs and gears that make your jaw drop; my Dad is a carpenter and can build anything; my husband recently built a flower box that left me in awe…

Me?  Nada.  I have dabbled in sewing– not a straight stitch to be found.  So, I tried to ‘no-sew’ t-shirts into fashionable women’s wear– they are currently being used for rags as I looked more homeless than on-trend.  I tried making my own liquid soap– smells like a dream, but I don’t think my hands get very clean.  I tried making a pull rug out of extra t-shirts–  it is half-way done and looks like a grey, white and teal shaggy dog and to be honest, I lost interest after many hours and a strained neck and back.  I even created gift baskets for a time for friends—but it got way too expensive and never took off.

Still after all of that, I have convinced myself that I have just not yet found my niche.  Hey!  I’m a born crafter- just not the crafts that everyone else has already discovered.  I’m gifted, dammit.  I just haven’t figured out how…  YET…  Right?!

I find myself wondering if anyone else out there is feeling like they were born without a creative/crafty/handy bone in their body.  So what do we do to express ourselves?  I haven’t yet found that answer, but luckily- I’m stubborn and I am going to keep on trying.  I’ve been considering homemade soap-making, but then I have to work with lye.  Not sure that’s wise as I am a touch clumsy.  Then I thought, “I love to sing!”  But then I remembered I am not very good and I’m allergic to microphones.

I’ll keep on searching.  I’ll keep the faith.  I am creative no matter what history shows.  So off I go to Pinterest to find every creative hobby on earth and try to find one that’ll fit my personality.  Or maybe to Amazon…  I bet they sell lye.  😉

Where to start…

I’ve always been someone who loved to write.  Yet, somehow in the last few years I’ve lost touch with writing- be it a silly Weight Loss blog or very personal poetry.  Maybe it is all of the annoying adulting I’ve been doing.  Way overrated.  This blog is just a glimpse into my lifestyle—and life in general.  I don’t want to sugarcoat anything, although I will attempt to keep it all PG rated.  The moral of the story?  Life is maddening at times and bliss at others.  My hope is to share many of my moments, random thoughts and general observations with you and hopefully make you laugh as we fumble through this crazy thing we call Life.